Thursday, September 25, 2008

Exhausted

Today was Soren's second day at "school" - it did not go well. I guess after the initial curiosity wore off he was left feeling very uneasy about being left all day in a strange place. I don't blame him. We both cried a lot today.

One thing that makes this transition even more lovely is the fact that he will not sleep there. Before he started there, I told his teacher and the administrative staff that I could not imagine Soren falling asleep on a mat on the floor with 17 other children around. They assured me that they do this all the time, not to worry. Well, I'm officially worried. His teacher told me that he was one of two kids who refuses to sleep there. The other one screams and cries the whole time. Soren just lays there with his eyes wide open until they ask him if he's ready to get up.

When I picked him up today he looked like a zombie. We didn't even get 5 minutes down the road and he was completely asleep in his car seat (this never happens.) His world has been turned upside down and it's rough for all of us. It is the grossest feeling to leave your crying child in a room full of other crying children and have them run after you. I used to get so annoyed at parents who would say goodbye and then linger around and keep trying to comfort their child. I still get annoyed, but it makes a lot more sense to me now. You want to make sure that your child is going to be taken care of and that somehow they will see that they're safe and that you will be back. There's just no way to convey that to a 16-month-old, no matter how long you stick around. Goodbyes have never been hard with Soren. Now, they are the worst.

I have very negative feelings about having Soren in daycare, and despite what other people tell me (i.e. it will be good for him, he'll have so much fun, it will build his immune system, it's a good program, blah, blah, blah...) it doesn't make this Mama any more thrilled to have someone else raising her child. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and that's the only reason we're doing this. It still doesn't make me excited about it.

3 comments:

skylana said...

lil guy. that's crazy that he does lay there, and stay there... props s-dawg for that. sorry its so wild trying to get him comfy.. i wish we could help somehow. too bad ara can't go with him and keep him company. i'm sure they would both love that.... well ara prays for soren's day every night.. i'll ask her to pray about the daycare sitch for him.

meg said...

hey. i don't have any advice or anything from the mom side, but first i wanted to say hi again and second I just wanted to say that this is lame and it sucks that you guys have to do this.

I'm happy you don't like it, so many parents are fine with their kid going through that cause they figure they'll "get over it soon" or whatever.
Anyways, I hope ara's prayers work.

Erin said...

Thanks so much Skylana and Meg for your encouragement. I have been feeling like a pretty terrible mother lately. It's great to know that we have friends that understand where we're coming from. I hope Ara's prayers work too. I'll keep you posted.