Last Days

Today is a day of lasts in our family.

It's my last day working at the Sock Drawer, Karl's last day of classes (still has a project to finish though) and Soren's last day of "school" at ASI. If you've been keeping up with our lives via this blog since last September, you may remember how much I hated putting Soren in daycare program. It went against so much of what I believed in as a mother (for as young as he was) and I just looked at it as a necessary evil. I cried and cried that first day as I left my destraught child in a room of other scared and confused children. My heart literally ached.

Soren had a hard time adjusting to the new environment. He had never been a clingy child, so the hard good-byes only lasted a few weeks, but he refused to sleep there. So many people told us that he would adjust, but we knew our son better. The kid does not sleep with distractions around...and daycare is full of distractions. I even considered pulling him out, because I couldn't stand getting a majorly nap-deprived child back at the end of my work day. I don't know how many times I said the words, "It's just not worth it" during this school year. Still, we kept his tired little self there.

It also took him a long time to become part of the group. He was only there 2 days a week and he's a very independent child, so the adjustment wasn't easy. His teachers would just hope to see him throw a tantrum because that would mean he actually felt comfortable to show strong emotions in front of them. Never did happen - just saved it all up for Mama at the end of the day.

Well, here we are at his last day and I must admit - I fought back tears this morning as I dropped him off for his last day. I started explaining that it was his last day on the way to school and when we got there he yelled, "Goodbye friends!" His teacher said, "Good morning Soren!" and he happily turned away from his toy bugs and said with a smile, "Good morning Sarah!" We have sure come a long way from that dreaded first day.

He has definitely found his place at school and just when we were all getting used to it, we have to move on. His teacher told us that we can bring him by to visit if he is ever asking about school and we are still able to go on field trips with his class. Depending on how our lives go, he may even end up back with his class someday.

As much of a struggle this year has been in many ways, I cannot imagine what Soren would be like now if it wasn't for his year in this wonderful program. I'm convinced that his time there has helped him grow much more than I would have been able to. I still believe that nothing can compare to the love and care a parent can give to their own child, but I look at things much differently than I did 10 months ago. We are so grateful to have been given the opportunity to put Soren in such an outstanding program where each child is loved, respected, taught and studied. He has learned to share, speak his mind, resolve conflict, sing new songs and a million other things I'm sure. Who knows how much this experience has influenced his little mind, but there's no doubt that it has helped lay a solid foundation for everything else he will do from now on.

So yes, there is sadness in my heart today as I help him say goodbye to the people and place he has become so familiar with this year.

Now Karl's got some catching up to do now that Soren has already graduated from Cal Poly.